blind as a bat

i've had my contacts in for days and thought it would good to give my poor eyes a break....so i took them out. then it took me an hour to find my fucking glasses because i couldn't see anything. i really can't see well without them. it's so frustrating. i searched the whole house and they were sitting right on the kitchen counter. must have been in there ten times. oh well...so, i'm restarting my day and slowing down. i had twenty five things planned for this morning and now it looks like a shower and coffee and off to the space is all i'm gonna get done before noon. my early bird got eaten by the worm.

working on the gig

last night i got to sit in on rehearsal with fred cassidy, john ballinger and band for the upcoming show friday night. it's was incredible to hear them. they jammed for 4 hours. with out chris wells and the no no's. i had a crew in hanging lights and moving steel decks and even they were commenting on how great they sounded. and they don't like anything but hard core rock.

it felt good to be apart of it all. and i'm glad to have the set and lights up this far ahead of the show. that gives three days to paint and decorate. plus we have call backs all day thursday and friday, a show friday night and a huge event saturday. plus i'm housing sitting. i got a lot going on. it keeps me out of the headlines and all the crazy shit going on around me.

heard from friends from san miguel yesterday. one by email, and the other was nancy jarvis, an actress i met while on vacation who's doing a show here in los angeles. small world.

having coffee with no milk again today. i haven't been to the store in weeks it seems. running out of everything. i'll wait to the last minute as usual. although, if i'm house sitting i'll just raid the place and won't have to go shopping for months.

i still have no clue if anyone reads this thing, but it's mellowing me out by writing it. when i become more blog savy i'll figure out how to track all this stuff.

gray skies are gonna clear up

finally won't up in not a total funk today. looks like i might get a bunch of stuff done. it's looking more and more like moving is gonna happen. i'm starting to feel it inside. there is less and less for us to be staying here for. some of which i will go into later. but the main thing is a sense of belonging that i feel. i'm being drawn to another chapter of my life. now, if i can just get off my lazy ass get this boat a rolling, things would be much better. maybe when steve gets back, i'll be more focused. right now it's all overwhelming. we need to set some goals and keep cracking the meds across the border thing. everything else is falling into place.

i might even be able to tell a few stories here. if i keep it up. right now nothing of great importance is spewing forth. but, i've mainly started this blog to get back into the habit of writing. i have alot to say, and it's gotten lost inside. sitting all mixed up with my rage and anger and frustration with what's been going on in this country for the last seven years. i can never get that time back. i spent seven years waging a one man war against nothing. time lost. so, whatever time i have left on this planet must mean something. it does mean something. i just want to be where it means even more. i feel my dreams coming true, and i didn't even know that i had them. also amazing how different my dreams are now at 50 then they were at 30 or 40. the main dream being just to live another year. after 22 years of living like this with hiv, i'm ready to move on to other areas of my life. it's time to focus on living and stop wasting time worrying about dying. but here in los angeles i feel like i'm suffocating. to live in a city of 80,000 would be such a delight. i haven't lived in a city that small since i left the farm. it feels like going back to the land. new land. the land where i grew up is gone. it's all condo's and golf courses. little remains of the places i played as a kid. but i guess that is true of everywhere. i'm rambling. still on first cup of joe. the off to then theater for meetings.

groundwork and audio karate

here's to the groundworks crew for putting on their biggest gig yet. the movie was a huge success and the band - audio karate - was unbelievable. one gig at a time. amazing work you guys. lines all the way down the block. and the hotdogs wrapped in bacon out back...well, words fail me. a perfect night.

Groundworks MySpace page

Christy and the NoNos

my friends are playing this friday night at bootleg. their new album is on my play all day list. it's that good. hope to see you there. check out the link over at bootleg and give a shout out on their myspace page, or better yet, hang out there for awhile and listen to their music. some amazing stuff.

Christy and the NoNos

getting hiv meds across the border

living the glamorous life of an hiv person has it's hang ups. like trying to get "the cocktail" in another country. i won't go into too much detail here, but that is the biggest hassel of moving. it's surreal. it used to be i'd check the morning headlines and start screaming at the computer screen and that'd be how i'd start my day. the headlines no longer effect me. they don't even register. i mean, how many times can lohan get arrested, or mel gibson move to costa rica. he should take lohan with him. the can drug and drink in peace. so...we've got the feelers out. my take is, if you can get tons and tons of coke and speed from mexico to the united states, i should be able to get my "cocktail" sent to me down there. some how and some where. of course now that i've put this information on the internets series of tubes i'll be abducted by the cia and end up who knows where. something about my agenda. it scares the bejesus out certain types of people.

saw this in the new yorker and it reminded me of being a kid. hanging out in the woods.

fish tacos

late sunday afternoon. off to best fish takes in ensaneda which is on hillhurst. basically a russian taco stand. for a girlfriends birthday.

make my own news day

jimi hendrix is still dead. however, he was looking extra fresh in monterey pop with mama cass and janice joplin at the Egyptian theater last week. extra fresh & in their prime. all three. looking so young and alive. i feel justified and ancient and i ain't driving no god damn ice cream van.

photo courtesy of princess sparkle pony.

mother mother, there's too many of us dying

this photo haunts me. i don't know why.

alec mapa superstar

putting a big thanks out to my gaysain superstar friend who's off on some tired supercruise gay thingy doing standup to the dried arrangements in speedos. he is a very brave man.

because of him, my lover and i were able to spend a month in san miguel, and now we're in the process of figuring out how to move down there. his act, literally, changed our lives. not bad for one night of stand up. it's made me stand up and take a look at were i am in my life and where i want to be. i thank him for allowing us to find our way.

of course, there were ton's of other people who helped, but they weren't as fabulous, you know, whatever.

oh...and the picture is of ms. diller watching alec mapa perform live. on acid.

to hell with los angeles...getting off the grift

each day brings a new feeling of insight. that moving is the right choice. for me and steve anyway. it may not seem like that to anyone else, but it's our lives at stake. he's sinking in quicksand in atlanta trying to take care of his ailing mom and i'm here in la la land trying to make sense of it all. and all i want is to be back in san miguel.

moving to san miguel de allende

my partner and i got back from spending a month in mexico. we've been thinking of moving there for a couple of years. this trip confirmed it. we fell in love. with the people, the streets, the food, the churches, the roosters, mules, children, basically the teeming life that surrounds you everywhere you go. it was amazing. it also has been depressing being back in the states. we are so stuck in the madness here. i find myself caring less and less about politics here. it's pointless. no one is doing anything. it's insane.

i hope to tell some stories of what happened on our stay. as well as the struggles we will go through to move from los angeles. how we will get our meds down there. how we will keep friends here and make new ones there. and yes there is corn there. ton's of corn. more than i've seen for years. and alfalfa. the corn is shorter than here because it's not genetically fucked with. all the food is fresh. we never once got sick.

we got hangovers. but not tourista.