the cornfield chronicles

dazed and confused

2010-05-03T21:46:00.006-05:00

there doesn't seem to be any stopping the feelings we've been having about living here. Especially the last couple of weeks. It's as if we're walking through molasses. No matter how hard we try, and maybe that's part of the problem, we try to play by the rules when the rest of the country is up for grabs. To say that it's surreal is and understatement. To live on daily uncertainty of if you'll be able to come back tomorrow. Reverse El Norte. But maybe I'm just having a bad day. Surely this too shall pass? Time takes care of most everything in Mexico. Time and death.

Buenas Dias San Miguel

2010-04-29T09:40:00.002-05:00

Every morning I'm up with the cats and dogs. I let Steve sleep in since he is such a night owl. If I don't get up, they start tearing the house up. Or, as the case was yesterday, drag and drop a small dead bird at my feet for breakfast. How proud they are. And the cockroach kill from last night looks to be three. Belly up.

It's sunny, as usually. Still rather quite. Nothings blown up yet. But it's early. As we approach May day and more importantly, cinco de mayo, things will go BOOM!!! Like, all day long. This gives Mable the vapors. She will spend the next five days hiding under covers. The cats could care less, as long as nothing derails their feeding habits and rituals.

Today we determine if Steve is going to Leon tomorrow for more leather for the backpacks, or if we wait until after the holidays. Decisions, decisions.

Another day has begun.

fresh product

2010-04-28T23:11:00.001-05:00

whatever!

How Long Has This Been Going On?

2010-04-28T22:20:00.005-05:00

Judy was a huge part of my life growing up. I was basically raised by my aunts and grandparents. On a farm. In Indiana. Just like something Judy would sing about. There was always the possibility of putting that show up in the barn. I understood that. That was the fantasy world I was born in. The farm was my set. The gravel pit, my sound stage. The grain elevator? My backlot. When I was 5 or 6 the Carnegie Hall album had just come out. The basement rec room became the stage for the entire extravaganza that would become my hallmark for all things to come. Judy LIVE was more than this little budding queen could bare. It would take every single bit of talent I had to go Full Judy, but I was more than up for the task. And by seven, I was nailing it. The family was scared. Horrified, actually. They loved Judy, but it was unsettling to see her come out of, well, me. By the time I got to the first few bars of Chicago, they were headed for the hills. And in Indiana, that's pretty far way to go.

*click on the title for Judy singing "As Long As He Needs Me"

Love Train

2010-04-28T22:12:00.004-05:00

It's been a long time brothers and sisters, but I am back. I have stories to tell. Pictures to share. Journeys to discuss. Therefore, no more delays. Now is now, not later. But first...A BREAK!

* click on title for some O 'Jays

saturday night not so live

2009-11-14T21:35:00.002-06:00

Winter in Mexico

2009-11-12T22:34:00.003-06:00

By all accounts it's going to be a brutal winter here in San Miguel. We have a fire going every night now. We have to figure buying wood into our monthly expense.

We're in the process of moving into the other house adjoining our courtyard. We're have a french doors put in. They should be installed in the next week or two. To unique charming little casitas sharing common grounds. The views from the roof deck are amazing. I will have to try some night photography one of these days.

Meanwhile...here's some crazy foto's from the world wide web. Most of my pics are from the people of brief magazine. check it out, though it's NSFW.

Freezing my ass off

2009-11-11T12:27:00.003-06:00

We have been having a major cold spell. Steve and I are on a constant look out for fire wood. It's hard to find a reliable source, let alone one that will deliver. There's been a few lucky days where we walk out the door and there's and old man with his donkey and huge bundles of wood piled four or five high on the old mules backs. Those are the lucky magical days of living here. For us. Maybe not for the donkeys.

Steve's off on his bike to try and get warmed up. I'm about to jump in the shower. It's the only five minutes of the day I'm truly warm.

The sun is out. The sky is clear. It's a beautiful brisk fall/winter day.

Can't wait to see where life takes me.

late night musings

2009-11-11T03:43:00.002-06:00

Scenes from San Miguel de Allende

2009-11-10T10:27:00.001-06:00

thingsbuilt.etsy.com

2009-11-10T10:14:00.000-06:00

We've been working on our on line etsy store since May 2009. We're excited by the response. Mostly we're excited by the sales. Here's some pictures of our wares.

mmm carnitas!

2009-08-21T17:17:00.001-05:00

broke in paradise

2009-08-21T17:01:00.000-05:00

There's not a lot of extra pesos to toss around this month. We spent much more than anticipated on the move not to mention the unexpected adoption of our new kitten. Rescue = $$$$. A bite, doctor visit, vet visit and spading later the damage was done. We always seem to learn the hard way which for us means in the wallet. At least we have our new digs to hide away in while taking in the comfort of it's walls, benches, crooks and angels. Truly a unique house that we will grow old in over the course of a very long time. It's so peaceful. Except for the home invasion robbery a short distance away at gunpoint you'd swear this is the safest place in Mexico. Time for a cerveza along with another bowl of tea.

sunday afternoon confusion

2009-08-16T17:21:00.001-05:00

pictures courtesy of the world wide web and my favorite blogs.

My Husband

2009-08-15T17:42:00.000-05:00

thingsbuilt.etsy.com

2009-08-15T17:38:00.001-05:00

Our Front Door

2009-08-15T17:36:00.001-05:00

Boys with Toys

2009-08-13T10:06:00.000-05:00

This is from a dirt bike rally a few weeks ago. It was nice to see all the hot guys showing off their moves.

Mi Vida Loca

2009-08-12T23:17:00.000-05:00

Every Friday a group of our friends meet @ El Cedro for chicken wings and tacos. The family that runs the place also makes the best mojigangas in town. The bigger than life puppets that are part of most of the festivals here in town. This girl was more scared of me than the diablo sitting beside her.

Friends from San Miguel

2009-08-12T23:07:00.000-05:00

stuff that really pisses me off

2009-08-12T22:59:00.000-05:00

http://wonkette.com/410459/new-hampshire-pervert-protests-next-to-small-child

Our New House

2009-08-12T22:50:00.000-05:00

Back from the Dead and Bigger Than Ever

2009-08-12T22:17:00.000-05:00

these lovely cholas are courtesy of d-listed

the wires of san miguel (hot or not?)

2008-04-17T03:16:00.000-05:00

it never ceases to amaze me at how things are wired here. this is the pole out side my house. i can actually touch it, if i'm so inclined (and stupid) as it's about a foot from my roof top. i actually strung some christmas lights off of it. and to see the guys working on these things is amazing. how they don't fry themselves is beyond me. but they don't. every house seems to have to hot leads going directly to these polls. reminds of the talking heads "don't touch me i'm a real live wire".

that all being said, it's 3am and i can't sleep. steve's in los angeles and sick as a dog. he got salmonalla right before leaving. the doctor wanted to admit him because he was so dehydrated. so, he's there sick and seeing doctors and not having a very good time. it makes me feel guilty because we have been bickering with each other over such stupid things the past couple of weeks when he's been healthy and now that he's sick it seems like i really wasted those healthy times together by being such a bitch. i don't know why, but i have a tendency to disagree just for the sake of disagreeing. it serves no purpose and only causes friction between us. although i do see other couples falling into the same trap when i'm out and about the city. but they're all hetrosexuals, and a homos we're suppose to be smarter than that. in my opinion anyway.

i've read on line about the shitty coverage of the debates tonight on abc. surprise surprise. i'm so grateful to be out of that fucking country. and hillary clinton should be shot. what a cunt. i can't stand to see her face even on the net. thank god i don't own a tv. well, actually i own three, but they've been turned into radical night lights. all static and cool. much better use.

the valium i took is starting to kick in, finally, and if i finish some of this beer i might be able to knock myself out.

it will be nice to have our own place. i think it will really improve our life and gives us the space and privacy and most of all a much nicer place to live. we've been ruffing it here long enough and it's time for a real house with a great kitchen and all the perks that we haven't had since living in the states. most of all the state of the art kitchen. we've been eating out a lot and i think that will change when we get there. plus, the place is so large we will be able to put friends up for extended stays, where we weren't able to do that here.

i could go on and on about all this trivial stuff, but i better try and get some sleep. there's a sale in the morning at the library that i want to try and hit.

things go better with...

2008-04-15T19:45:00.000-05:00

i haven't written in several days. living mi vida loca. steve left yesterday for los angeles for a week. doctor appointments, cancer screening/check up, check storage unit, maybe do a quick job for our dear friend alec mapa. he's got a new dog and they need some beefing up of the backyard fence, as well as some more landscape lighting and hardscaping. i'm not sure how much of it steve will get done in one week. i might have to go and finish up. we'll see. i should know in the next few days.

someone died next door. the body was kept on the porch with the mourners flowing outside in plastic lawn chairs for 2 to 3 days. the casket was right as you walked in the door. you could see it passing by. surrounded by flowers and candles. they would sing songs and tell stories. very somber on the whole block. and now there's a black ribbon on the door as well as a white one, which means the old lady might have been a nun at one time. either that or a baby died also, or maybe she's a bride of christ. it all depends on who you talk to. but after what seemed like days, which it was, they finally marched the casket away to the cemetery. thank god, it was starting to creep me out, because it was basically on the other side of our bedroom wall and i don't think they embalmed the body. i guess i watched too many episodes of CSI back in the states and get myself all creeped out.

so far it looks like we're still moving, on the first of may, to "the palace". steve and karen have also gotten a good lead on an industrial sewing machine, which they might get this week. i go to look at it on saturday with karen. that will help out alot. steve's going crazy, and me too for that matter from lack of work. i can zone for a long time, but eventually i want to create something of importance. easier said then done.

we judged a junior high school theater program about three hours from here in a town outside of moreno lagos. we caught a bus to guanajuato on the way back and spent the night. we were treated to ZILCH, probably one of the hottest bars i've been to since mykonos. are host for the night, julian, was a dream and an old friend of sams. small world. an incredible night of music and mayhem. the city is so much more alive, especially at night due to the large population of young university students. it was divine and we can't wait to get back. and next time we'll take sam along.

read to me dianna

2008-04-02T17:52:00.000-06:00

this is how i felt most of the day. haven't been to see it yet, but will get there some day soon.

looks like we got the house. i don't know if that's good or bad yet. hopefully good. steve flys out on the 14th to los angeles. we have to deal with our storage unit and truck. how to get it down here, cost, dealing with my FM3. i may or may not have to get an extension because i'll have been here 6 months on the 15th of april. we won't be able to move the stuff down until may or june at the earliest. it's a drag to have to deal with all of this. the laws changed recently and every single person you talk to has a different story on what's going on. it takes days to get anything processed. otherwise, life is good. it wasn't quite as hot today. shepards pie for dinner (courtesy of sam's friend from london). delicious.

money's a little tight...thank go we're used to that. have a couple of jobs lined up back in the states. we still haven't figured out how to make money down here. so far, we've been surviving on our disability checks. but the savings are dwindling and credit card nearing max. so we don't have the luxury of just sending for our stuff like most gringos. they just have it all taken care of. if we had and extra 3000 or 4000 thousand dollars we'd just have all shipped down and that'd be that. the moving company's take care of all of the paper work, which is the biggest hassle. oh well.

it's hard to get too freaked out about money when the coolest things here cost nothing or close to it. so...we have it better than most. it beats the hell out of starving in the states. i haven't bounced a check since i've been here. in the states i was over drawn every month just trying to float us through the month. it was bounce a check, or not eat that weekend. that hasn't happened here.

on a lighter note...we've heard from john. i'm going to see if i can get a new link up to BORDERSTORIES. i'll do a separate post after this break.

grateful

2008-04-01T11:48:00.000-06:00

a year ago steve was still in the worst part of chemo. the end. you're suppose to feel happy that it's over, but your body is so fried you feel like shit all the time. that was a year ago.

and now we're here. in mexico. how did that happen? so many many things transpired. it's impossible to tell you. but i'll try.

a bird has made a nest right outside my room in an old wasp hive. i'm pretty sure we've got a couple of eggs waiting to hatch. reminds me of the doves we rescued and raised when we lived in echo park. i loved taking care of them. except when i didn't love taking care of them. funny how i change the rules as i go.

because we are constantly with each other, sometimes this experience has truly tested the strength of our relationship. i have not been the most easy person to be with on a good day...so when i get depressed or in a funk here it i tend to be a real bitch (surprise surprise) and that's not what we came down here for. in some ways, i thought by just moving down here, everything would change and we'd be happy in paradise. it hasn't been that easy. housing has been difficult, to say the least. we've bumped around all over town. this is our forth place, and longest (4 months) since we got here. steve and i share a small room, and although we have access to the rest of the house, there's a certain lack of privacy that's been hard to get used to. neither one of us has any place to escape to, to have a break from each other. so, in that aspect, it feels like the world longest road trip. it doesn't feel like we've landed yet.

that being said, today i find myself so grateful to this city, and more importantly, from what i've seen, this country. everyday i learn something new or see a new color or element of something that's been here forever, that i just now discovered. i know that it was the right thing to do. all i have to do is walk out my door and a whole wonderful adventure awaits me. so while we go about finding our way here, the land holds us and sustains us with its beauty and it's big open skys. viva la mexico!

another day in paradise 2.0

2008-04-01T11:12:00.000-06:00

steve's out looking for apartments. my hip still hurts, as it has for the past week or so. not sure i want to go into the whole thing right now. i hate getting old. but i feel so young compared to most people here. the best thing about being here is the walks. exploring, finding new places, parks, fountains, etc. so i guess i'm talking about my hip. damnitalltohell. steve's back. maybe i'll go hop/drag myself to some comida.

i see you and now you must die

2008-03-31T21:48:00.000-06:00

this is my boyfriends eye. hot!

mable the wonder dog

2008-03-31T21:43:00.000-06:00

this is my best friend and all around pal...miss mable!

2008-03-31T21:29:00.000-06:00

we shot this a couple of weeks ago. a blacksmith shop past the art institute. i tweaked it a bit. it was so iconic.

BORDER STORIES

2008-03-31T15:40:00.000-06:00

last october i moved to san miguel de allende after living in los angeles for twenty two years. my partner and i visited here last june. we fell in love with the place and decided to pack up and move on down. so much has happened since then. prior to leaving i started this blog, thinking i would have a public journal of my experience.

well, as you can see, there has been virtually no activity since i got here. there's always some lame excuse for not sitting down and doing what i'm doing now. i could give you a hundred different reasons why and 99 of them would be bullshit. i have to give thanks to my friend john for making me get off my tired ass and do something. he's the one doing the BORDERSTORIES PROJECT. the website hasn't launched yet, but i wanted to take a moment to share with you his last email. i'm so proud of the work he's doing. and if i can do anything to drive traffic to his sight...even my little blog...then i will do whatever i can do.

so here's the latest from john:

I am relieved the site is just about there. It's been really intense trying to shoot, travel and make a website simultaneously. That woman I hired in San Miguel was a real let down and basically took $2000 from our humble budget without returning a single, functioning component. We have essentially built the site from scratch, splitting our time between motel rooms and the back of my van. It's quite an accomplishment given the working conditions, not to mention the fact that we shot, edited and translated 5 stories simultaneously. Now that the site is up, we can shift our focus strictly to content and this has reenergized me. Our next story for example, will make you cry. We went to the "Casa del Migrante" yesterday in Nuevo Laredo. As we sat waiting for it to open its doors, we watched young men accumulate outside the small, run-down building's premises. By the time the doors opened, there were over 40 men eagerly waiting to be let inside. I talked to 5 or 6 of them as they waited in a line, all of them with young and tired faces and learned that the majority of them were from Honduras and had been on the road for 1-2 months. They had hopped trains, watched women be raped and companeros murdered. There hands were dirty, as were the seat of their pants and their shoes. Each one had a different version of the same story to tell. I had to fight to keep myself from breaking down in front of them. They're just boys, in search of a dream that according to them, has turned dark and terrifying since they first decided to leave. And yet, outside this temporary refuge, sparks of hope and youth could still be seen. And God bless the Catholic volunteers that open the doors to these men. They provide them with a bed, 3 telephone calls and a chance to wash their clothes. They also give each person a chance to tell their story in a closed office, where they are alone with only other person who is purposely there to listen. The idea is to try and help restore their dignity before they are returned back onto the streets where the next border crossing awaits them. The casa is just that- a temporary holding ground where each person that arrives at its doors is given a chance to feel like a human being for a day or two. They cannot house or feed them any longer than that because 80 new faces appear each day, all with horrifying shadows under their eyes. Can you imagine? And this is just one of a dozen major border crossing towns.

The volunteers that run this place offer gospel services to those that want to hear, but the purpose of the mission is strictly to try and help restore human dignity before the men and the occasional woman are forced to fend for themselves again. Never in my life I have been so touched by a humanitarian service, let alone one affiliated with the Catholic church.

We are going back to the Casa today and will spend several hours interviewing those that want to go before the camera. Our hope is to have something for our audience to see by the end of the week. In many ways, this feels like just the beginning.

Much love,
JD

now you see why i'm off my ass and online. when faced with challanges like people are going through everyday just to survive, it makes my lame excuses seem even more obscene. i hope you've enjoyed hearing from john, and i promise to keep you, and myself, up to date

border stories

2008-03-10T18:24:00.000-06:00

keep a look out for my friend john's website - borderstories.org. until then...here's a clip.

hello it's me

2007-08-11T14:32:00.000-05:00

whirlwind swept me away from computer. been all over the place; housesitting, theater rehearsals and rentals, film shoots, taking care of the animals, stever back in town, etc. etc.

showed him the blog. he liked it.

off to theater. will write longer soon. all sorts of things brewing up.

off into the world i go.

blind as a bat

2007-08-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

i've had my contacts in for days and thought it would good to give my poor eyes a break....so i took them out. then it took me an hour to find my fucking glasses because i couldn't see anything. i really can't see well without them. it's so frustrating. i searched the whole house and they were sitting right on the kitchen counter. must have been in there ten times. oh well...so, i'm restarting my day and slowing down. i had twenty five things planned for this morning and now it looks like a shower and coffee and off to the space is all i'm gonna get done before noon. my early bird got eaten by the worm.

working on the gig

2007-08-01T11:31:00.000-05:00

last night i got to sit in on rehearsal with fred cassidy, john ballinger and band for the upcoming show friday night. it's was incredible to hear them. they jammed for 4 hours. with out chris wells and the no no's. i had a crew in hanging lights and moving steel decks and even they were commenting on how great they sounded. and they don't like anything but hard core rock.

it felt good to be apart of it all. and i'm glad to have the set and lights up this far ahead of the show. that gives three days to paint and decorate. plus we have call backs all day thursday and friday, a show friday night and a huge event saturday. plus i'm housing sitting. i got a lot going on. it keeps me out of the headlines and all the crazy shit going on around me.

heard from friends from san miguel yesterday. one by email, and the other was nancy jarvis, an actress i met while on vacation who's doing a show here in los angeles. small world.

having coffee with no milk again today. i haven't been to the store in weeks it seems. running out of everything. i'll wait to the last minute as usual. although, if i'm house sitting i'll just raid the place and won't have to go shopping for months.

i still have no clue if anyone reads this thing, but it's mellowing me out by writing it. when i become more blog savy i'll figure out how to track all this stuff.

gray skies are gonna clear up

2007-07-31T12:54:00.000-05:00

finally won't up in not a total funk today. looks like i might get a bunch of stuff done. it's looking more and more like moving is gonna happen. i'm starting to feel it inside. there is less and less for us to be staying here for. some of which i will go into later. but the main thing is a sense of belonging that i feel. i'm being drawn to another chapter of my life. now, if i can just get off my lazy ass get this boat a rolling, things would be much better. maybe when steve gets back, i'll be more focused. right now it's all overwhelming. we need to set some goals and keep cracking the meds across the border thing. everything else is falling into place.

i might even be able to tell a few stories here. if i keep it up. right now nothing of great importance is spewing forth. but, i've mainly started this blog to get back into the habit of writing. i have alot to say, and it's gotten lost inside. sitting all mixed up with my rage and anger and frustration with what's been going on in this country for the last seven years. i can never get that time back. i spent seven years waging a one man war against nothing. time lost. so, whatever time i have left on this planet must mean something. it does mean something. i just want to be where it means even more. i feel my dreams coming true, and i didn't even know that i had them. also amazing how different my dreams are now at 50 then they were at 30 or 40. the main dream being just to live another year. after 22 years of living like this with hiv, i'm ready to move on to other areas of my life. it's time to focus on living and stop wasting time worrying about dying. but here in los angeles i feel like i'm suffocating. to live in a city of 80,000 would be such a delight. i haven't lived in a city that small since i left the farm. it feels like going back to the land. new land. the land where i grew up is gone. it's all condo's and golf courses. little remains of the places i played as a kid. but i guess that is true of everywhere. i'm rambling. still on first cup of joe. the off to then theater for meetings.

groundwork and audio karate

2007-07-30T19:17:00.000-05:00

here's to the groundworks crew for putting on their biggest gig yet. the movie was a huge success and the band - audio karate - was unbelievable. one gig at a time. amazing work you guys. lines all the way down the block. and the hotdogs wrapped in bacon out back...well, words fail me. a perfect night.

Groundworks MySpace page

Christy and the NoNos

2007-07-30T19:07:00.000-05:00

my friends are playing this friday night at bootleg. their new album is on my play all day list. it's that good. hope to see you there. check out the link over at bootleg and give a shout out on their myspace page, or better yet, hang out there for awhile and listen to their music. some amazing stuff.

Christy and the NoNos

getting hiv meds across the border

2007-07-30T11:51:00.000-05:00

living the glamorous life of an hiv person has it's hang ups. like trying to get "the cocktail" in another country. i won't go into too much detail here, but that is the biggest hassel of moving. it's surreal. it used to be i'd check the morning headlines and start screaming at the computer screen and that'd be how i'd start my day. the headlines no longer effect me. they don't even register. i mean, how many times can lohan get arrested, or mel gibson move to costa rica. he should take lohan with him. the can drug and drink in peace. so...we've got the feelers out. my take is, if you can get tons and tons of coke and speed from mexico to the united states, i should be able to get my "cocktail" sent to me down there. some how and some where. of course now that i've put this information on the internets series of tubes i'll be abducted by the cia and end up who knows where. something about my agenda. it scares the bejesus out certain types of people.

2007-07-29T21:31:00.000-05:00

saw this in the new yorker and it reminded me of being a kid. hanging out in the woods.

fish tacos

2007-07-29T19:15:00.000-05:00

late sunday afternoon. off to best fish takes in ensaneda which is on hillhurst. basically a russian taco stand. for a girlfriends birthday.

make my own news day

2007-07-29T12:28:00.001-05:00

jimi hendrix is still dead. however, he was looking extra fresh in monterey pop with mama cass and janice joplin at the Egyptian theater last week. extra fresh & in their prime. all three. looking so young and alive. i feel justified and ancient and i ain't driving no god damn ice cream van.

photo courtesy of princess sparkle pony.

mother mother, there's too many of us dying

2007-07-29T12:21:00.000-05:00

this photo haunts me. i don't know why.

alec mapa superstar

2007-07-29T12:06:00.000-05:00

putting a big thanks out to my gaysain superstar friend who's off on some tired supercruise gay thingy doing standup to the dried arrangements in speedos. he is a very brave man.

because of him, my lover and i were able to spend a month in san miguel, and now we're in the process of figuring out how to move down there. his act, literally, changed our lives. not bad for one night of stand up. it's made me stand up and take a look at were i am in my life and where i want to be. i thank him for allowing us to find our way.

of course, there were ton's of other people who helped, but they weren't as fabulous, you know, whatever.

oh...and the picture is of ms. diller watching alec mapa perform live. on acid.

to hell with los angeles...getting off the grift

2007-07-28T18:36:00.000-05:00

each day brings a new feeling of insight. that moving is the right choice. for me and steve anyway. it may not seem like that to anyone else, but it's our lives at stake. he's sinking in quicksand in atlanta trying to take care of his ailing mom and i'm here in la la land trying to make sense of it all. and all i want is to be back in san miguel.

moving to san miguel de allende

2007-07-28T17:37:00.001-05:00

my partner and i got back from spending a month in mexico. we've been thinking of moving there for a couple of years. this trip confirmed it. we fell in love. with the people, the streets, the food, the churches, the roosters, mules, children, basically the teeming life that surrounds you everywhere you go. it was amazing. it also has been depressing being back in the states. we are so stuck in the madness here. i find myself caring less and less about politics here. it's pointless. no one is doing anything. it's insane.

i hope to tell some stories of what happened on our stay. as well as the struggles we will go through to move from los angeles. how we will get our meds down there. how we will keep friends here and make new ones there. and yes there is corn there. ton's of corn. more than i've seen for years. and alfalfa. the corn is shorter than here because it's not genetically fucked with. all the food is fresh. we never once got sick.

we got hangovers. but not tourista.